maybe its time for me let some of this out. i think ive been botteling up way too much. i realise xanga is basically dieing, but i guess its just self therapy..i dont know. i dont know where im at anymore. there seriously is a war going on inside of me, which sounds extremely cliche, yet its the truth. one part of me hates the other, and vise versa. my parents decided im still three years old are making decision for me, which should be mine. Ive been so fake latley. I hate youth, but its no ones fault but my own. there is a cynic of the worst kind instilled within. i need to get away. far far away. i know generally what im going to be doing with my life, but no idea how to start. plus i've been putting off talking to the One whose making those plans. i need rest. i need to be still, but life just keeps running through my head. i feel asthough its not me whose living my life right now, like im a distant bystander waiting for them to make the right decisions. i dont want to give things up, but i know thats whats keeping me back. | 
